Talk about what matters to you on Teenville

iloveyou92 · 17th February 2006, 06:50 PM

Ok, so I've never had a boyfriend before. Not that hard to believe, becuz I am NOT gorgeous and that's what guys go for, correct? Anyway, I'm starting to get desperate, and I'm thinking that I'll go out with any guy if I get the chance. I'm hoping that I'll suck it up and go out with the guy that I like and that's it, I just don't know what to do! Should I change my appearance and try and convince my crush to go out with me? Meh, that sounds stupid. Ok, needing advice NOW!

WP1 · 18th February 2006, 02:17 PM

cam down girl, not having a boyfriend is not the end of the world and give it time and your shinning armar(sp) will soon be coming for you..

debs · 19th February 2006, 03:24 PM

i agree as soon as u stop looking for love it'll find you!

a word of warning do not go out with the first guy who asks you they're are alot of creeps out there as i've recentley found out!

Andeora · 24th February 2006, 05:40 PM

You know something funny? People think that guys go for pretty girls and that's what matters, but that isn't really how it works in real life. When I look around myself, then it seems to be more like vice versa sometimes really: it's the girls that don't shine out with gorgeous looks that have boyfriends, while the truly beautiful ones remain single. There's many other qualities that are much more important than looks. And if you think about it... if how pretty a girl is makes all the difference to a guy... is that the kind of a guy you'd want to be with anyway?

Another thing to remember is, not having a boyfriend at 13 really isn't the end of the world. I'm 17 and I'd dare to say more than half the girls I know don't have one... and for most of them, it's not something they see as a problem! Despite what the media wants you to think, your life isn't defined by whether you have a boyfriend or not. Being in a relationship isn't the great universal key to happiness. Staying true to yourself and doing things that truly matter to you and having fun with that would probably come a lot closer.

About attractiveness actually... for one thing, different people consider different things to be attractive. What is even more important is that what people see as attractive is very often not even actual looks at all. It's the way you see yourself, how confident you are in yourself, how friendly and helpful you are towards others, how easy-going you are maybe... I know totally average-looking girls that are insanely popular with guys... people in general really...

Oh, and, by the way, are you sure about not being gorgeous? I won't go saying that you definitely are, because I haven't seen you so I wouldn't know... but I know that, for example with myself, I consider my appearance rather plain myself with a bunch of things that could be improved... oddly enough I've had quite a number of people tell me they consider me very attractive, sometimes completely out of the blue... I still don't know what to make of that, hehe

What I mean is, that, just because you don't consider yourself beautiful or maybe some nasty person has told you something bad about that in the past, doesn't mean that's how everyone sees you.

Okay, wow, this reply's gotten pretty long... I better finish up

Don't worry, if you just feel good about yourself and what you do, you can have some real fun... and that will be far more likely to attract the nice kind of guys than anything you might try to make yourself to be that you think might make them like you...

Bouncetigg · 29th March 2006, 08:06 AM

Like WP1 said Calm down- it not the end of the world and your man will come for you! But don't go for the first one that comes along as it might not just be right!

Everything is not about look in a relationship! as maybe they will go.. it what on the inside- the kindness! you don't want a boy who is so pretty but he so rude to all your friends or old people!

rikk22 · 29th March 2006, 11:06 PM

well... speaking for a guys point of view other than wp1's, i myself dont just look for beauty (although im obviously not saying that beauty has no part in it...just a fraction)...

im not the usual jock guy whos popular wiv girls either, they sometimes see me as a geek because im far to occupied wiv lots of random stuffs (not necessarily books)..but not also a complete ghost in school...anyways thats beside the point im makin..

wot i look generally for a girl is err.. her ability to put across herself not in a tarty and rather prostitute looking way...but in a more popular laid back and pure-natural...just herself...

i also look for a girl who is timid but not so timid that they cant look at themselves, someone who doesnt hav to project herself to be noticed by putting excessive make up and flirtateous way, i find that a turn off...

so in short i am actually impressed by girls who just the traditional type- those who hardly care whether they have a boyfriend or not..

so not everyone cares for beauty alone.. for me its the personality...*only a tidbit of beauty really...and by tidbit i mean really small,

but obviously i cant be a hypocrite, i confess that i dont want to be engaged with a girl who looks like a horse-mixed with a crab do i? so normal...or average(if u so wish to call it) girl will do....not so err..unattractive and not so beautiful

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anyways, im 17 now, although no gf yet, i myself is quite depressed as i havent got a gf too...but im not far too much bothered really..i just wish i can hang out with a gf like most people at my age does...u know..someone that i can be intimate with, teenage holding hands, and a caring person with me..someone that says hi in the morning and good nite at nite kind of stuff..

XdevilishX · 19th April 2006, 07:49 AM

yeah, no guy really likes the whole despertae act. i mean, having a boyfriend isn't all that perfect, trust me, you don't need one to get through life.

most guys i know go for confidence. people like confindence. it ain't all about looks..

ashlee242 · 15th August 2007, 01:30 AM

u shouldnt try to change u just for a guy just be youself dont change and guys will like u even more trust me it works

ryshae · 27th January 2009, 04:28 AM

Well, there's not really a lot to add to this. Everyone here has pretty much summed it up. All I can stress is don't go out with the first boy you discover that likes you! Trust me, been there, done that once. It's not good lol. I know this sounds like the oldest advice, but its true: just be yourself. Do the things you like to do, act how you like to act, and try to be confident and happy with yourself. Guys will see this, and eventually come to you.

Also, having guys that are friends can help. I don't know if you have any guy friends or not, but even if you're not exactly friends with them, just having little conversations in class or whatnot is good. Then you develope connections, and you might realize someone you've never really noticed before has a lot in common with you, and vice versa. Anyways, there's my two cents, for whatever its worth. Hope it all works out!