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FionaApple · 2nd August 2006, 10:55 AM

Vent.......neeeeeed to let it out....

My mother......what to say about her?Hmmm.....she is one of the strongest women I know. People who meet her say 'oh she's so nice'. They don't know her like I do. She acts so fake in front of our relatives, always happy like nothing's happened, nothing's wrong. Well, so do I. I do that in front of everybody.

So many things represent her...the rosebush in front of our house that was her grandmother's...the tree outside in our front lawn that in the fall is the exact colour of my ex boyfriend's dyed red hair...

She's taught me more about life than my father ever has and ever will. She manages things in our house, schedules and whatnot. Doesn't forget things like my father does. She has a presence but unfortunately it's not a very good one. She doesn't realise how tension-filling it is.

She's also a very good singer and a lot of strength because she's been through a lot in her life.She has a temper oh good heavens does she ever. When I was 4 she threw a Barbie bowl at Kate, my sister....when I was 13 during an argument my mother said 'do you wanna live in Afghanistanwith a sheet over your head?!...during another argument also when I was 13 she tried to choke me...it scared me.

When I was 17/18 we were arguing about mashed potatoes, one of the stupidest, most ridiculous things to argue over. She said something along the lines of 'do you think you're better than me?'. I was never brought up to think that. I am not that kind of person.

In a weird way I'm kind of afraid and don't want her to be loving towards me and I don't know why.

In November, on a gray day driving home from school, she grabbed my neck. I avoided her for the next few days.

When I was 17/18 she discovered one of my IM conversations that wasn't the most pleasent, to say the least. I was sitting on the living room floor and she kept yelling at me repetitively while I just sat there, listened and didn't react. She called me a whore a **** a slut.

Oh and when we were dropping books off at the library she grabbed me and said 'you're a ***in psycho *****'. The previous night she said to me, during a 3 way argument between her, my father and myself, 'you're ***ed up'. Thanks mom. really. I already knew that.

During another argument she grabbed me and wouldn't let me go.

And during an argument with Kate this summer she called Kate a crackwhore and hit Kate who hit back. I hit my mother so she would stop hitting Kate.

However, in December we went to London together and that was really nice.

I don't mean to sound as though she's abusive, although she did grow up in a very abusive, angry household. But these are the things I remember the most about her.

thank you for taking the time to read/reply

luv always
fiona

snow · 8th August 2006, 06:00 AM

hi fiona,
you've got a natural flair of writting. i cant write as good as u do but just wanna say that i feel ur mom has many tensions to go through n plus she has a bad temper and as u r her daughter n she feels for u she scolds u but i feel that she shouldnt behave in that manner. Anyways, dont mind if i wrote something wrong just felt like writting, so wrote.

My mom has also got a bad temper but she never hits me although her words r sometimes quite bitter. When i'm on a wrong path she makes me sit besides her n explains me why i shouldn't do this. But i love my dad more than my mom (not that i hate her, she's sweet, but still dad is better).

love,
snow.

ashlee242 · 15th August 2007, 12:36 AM

and u really think ure mother is cool if mother called u that and did that to u i think she needs some help